Do you find yourself feeling down, irritable, frustrated, or anxious but there’s no good explanation for what’s wrong?
Have loved ones been telling you that you need to open up more? Do you find yourself caught up in thoughts about the past and no matter what you do, you just can’t seem to shake it off and focus on your present and the people in it? Does it feel like you’ve tried everything you can to fix your problems but nothing seems to work? Perhaps you’ve tried ignoring the problem hoping it will work itself out. Or maybe you’ve tried positive thinking but that hasn’t gotten you very far.
Are you experiencing any of the following symptoms?
Feeling sad, “empty," flat, or hopeless
Loss of energy, lethargy or exhaustion
Not being able to sleep, or sleeping too much
Withdrawing from family and friends or becoming isolated
Difficulty meeting the responsibilities of work, caring for family, or attending to other important activities
Thoughts of wanting to give up
Restlessness or agitation
Constant worry about what could go wrong
Feelings of dread
Concentration problems
Avoidance
Fear of losing control
Irritability or edginess
Sleep issues
You may feel numb, detached, and disconnected. Or you may feel irritable, on edge, or angry at even the little things.
You might be reluctant to let people know what’s going on, but your relationships are suffering in the process. You might not be communicating well with your partner, or notice that your friendships with other men feel superficial or unfulfilling. You may have even started losing interest in work and activities you used to enjoy.
Some men turn to alcohol and drugs to cope with their emotional symptoms. Others shut down and withdraw from everyone. You don’t know what’s really wrong with you but you know something definitely is. All you know is you’re over it. You don’t want to feel this way any longer and you’re ready to feel better.
Depression and Anxiety in Men are More Common Than People Think
Over 6 million men suffer from anxiety and depression each year, but many cases go undiagnosed. Many miss the signs of depression in men, especially since so many are more willing to admit to fatigue or irritability rather than sadness or emotional pain. In fact, less than 50% of boys and men with mental health challenges seek help.
Financial problems, loss of a loved one, a difficult relationship, stressors at work, or unresolved issues from your past can pile up and cause mental and emotional strain. Emotional issues can be difficult to talk about, so many men end up struggling silently. Common beliefs that keep men from seeking help include:
Asking for help is a sign of weakness.
Men shouldn’t talk about their problems.
Men should be able to control their feelings.
Talking about problems will only make things worse.
Men should be able to handle their own problems.
Men can remain trapped for years in a vortex of these limiting beliefs and suffer needlessly. The good news is that with the help of an experienced therapist who specializes in treating men’s issues, relief from your discomfort and struggles are within your reach. In my work with men, I have seen firsthand how taking the time to address these fundamental issues with a trained professional often leads to a resolution of symptoms and a more satisfying and rewarding life.
Men’s Therapy Can Help You Get in Touch with Yourself Again
Emotions have no regard for gender. They are neither positive nor negative. They just are. When emotions are squelched, they become like lobsters boiling in a pot clamoring to get out. For some men this creates a feeling of agitation and discomfort. For others it creates numbness or emotional detachment. Years of pressing down on emotions creates a state of depression, anxiety, or a combination of both.
But this way of living is not a permanent or fixed condition. Men’s therapy can support you in having a healthier relationship to your emotions and provide you the necessary foundation to move into your future with confidence and skill.
During sessions, we will get to the bottom of what’s causing you to feel the way you do. Utilizing mindfulness and gentle body-based approaches, I will assist you in reconnecting your head, heart, and body so that you can not only better understand and manage your own emotions, but also understand and effectively respond to the emotions of those around you. This will allow you to build deeper and more meaningful relationships with friends, family, and loved ones, as well as give you essential skills for improving communication in a variety of work and social situations.
“The body is a multilingual being. It speaks through its color and its temperature, the flush of recognition, the glow of love, the ash of pain, the heat of arousal, the coldness of nonconviction. . . .It speaks through the leaping of the heart, the falling of the spirits, the pit at the center, and rising hope. ”
In the first couple of sessions, we will discuss the history and nature of the problem that has brought you in, including: exploring the underlying cause(s), what you’ve tried to do to make it better, where you’ve gotten stuck, and identifying what you hope to achieve from our time together. Next, we will create a road map of how we can get from where you are now to where you want to be. Along the way, you will receive a number of tools, suggestions, practical strategies, supportive coaching, and feedback to assist you in obtaining your goals.
If something from your past has been holding you back, I will assess for the possibility of traumatic stress. Then, using proven and effective trauma resolution techniques, I will support you in coming to peaceful closure with the event(s) in your past that have been preventing you from living your life fully.
Stress is a major source of anxiety and depression for men. In our work together, we will explore what is driving your stress response and, through interactive exercises and practical tools I will provide, you will learn how to reduce stress so you can feel calmer, more resilient, and better able to meet the day to day challenges of your life.
For the past 10 years, I have specialized in working with men struggling with depression, anxiety, substance abuse issues, and past trauma. I deeply care about and understand the unique challenges that men face in our culture, and have had the opportunity to help men rebuild a more compassionate and self-accepting definition of what it means to be a man in our society.
You don’t have to deal with anxiety and depression alone. Through our work together, you will have the opportunity to restore your health and recover a sense of wholeness and well-being.
You May Still Have Questions and Concerns about Men’s Therapy
Isn’t talking about your problems just going to make things worse?
This is a very common concern that men have when they’re first starting out in therapy. So many men have reported to me that it’s a big relief to be able to open up and share what they have long carried alone. Often men say that having the perspective of a neutral, non-judgmental listener feels freeing and gives them the opportunity to be honest with themselves about their struggles.
Doesn’t counseling take a lot of time?
My approach to men’s therapy is direct, interactive, and results driven. The benefits I’ve seen occur when men commit to therapy are immeasurable. I have found that the time spent struggling with the issue at hand usually far outweighs the amount of time needed to resolve the issue in therapy. Time spent meeting the problem head-on as opposed to avoiding it is never wasted. In fact, many men tell me they wished they’d come in sooner.
Can’t I just take medication for help with my problems? Wouldn’t that be a quicker solution?
There are certainly some people who benefit from medication, especially if the symptoms are acute. However, medication is not the “magic bullet” that will cure everything. Medication may alleviate symptoms but, if the underlying issues are not addressed, there is very little progress that can be made. Additionally, there are numerous studies that have shown that medication alone is an ineffective way to treat mental health issues.
Overcome the Issues Holding You Back From Living Your Best Life
Reaching out for help isn’t easy. It takes strength to be vulnerable and seek help. It’s probably best exemplified in the acronym F.E.A.R.: Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise. Running is certainly an option but if you’re ready to rise up from your difficulties and work on creating a better life for yourself, please contact me at 210.802.2697 to schedule a free phone consultation.